2 + 2 = 5 and you are a racist if you don’t think that adds up

By Jo Nova

It’s a song for the times by Hi-Rez – the rapper: 2+2=5 .

There really are professors explaining that maths proficiency is white supremacy.

Guest starring Robert Malone and JP Sears

2 + 2 = 5 Lyrics

Kick the fathers out the house Send the mothers back to work Let the school system parent your children right from the birth Make ’em ill, feed ’em pills Confuse ’em about what’s real Tell ’em facts don’t really matter, it’s all about how you feel Science and math are racist History, let’s erase it Indoctrinate a whole generation, you can’t escape it

8.7 out of 10 based on 84 ratings […]

Pfizer Pleased To Announce Their New Vaccine 90% Effective Against New Virus They Created

After the blockbuster revelations, the Babylon Bee right onto it:

NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer Inc. dropped their new COVID variant and accompanying vaccine Thursday at midnight, much to the delight of CDC officials. The new vaccine is reportedly shown to be 90% effective against the COVID variant Pfizer created in their lab.

Experts suggest Pfizer’s radical approach to virus treatment may be tantamount to an abusive relationship, but that’s okay because we probably deserve it.

“I’d suggest we investigate this immediately,” said Congresswoman AOC. “But I don’t want to burn any bridges. I might have to get a job there someday.”

h/t John Connor II, David

PS: Huge congratulations to the indominatable Novak Djokovic, a man we discussed so much a year ago when he was deported for not taking drugs. See the raw emotion as he breaks down in the stands a few minutes after his win. It really is remarkable. It’s not just the vaccine debacle last year, but serious injuries in the last few weeks as well. The man is a champion who will not submit. Last year, they were afraid he would win and spread freedom, not viruses.

[…]

Huge Elephant dies suddenly. We don’t know why but we know it wasn’t *that*

By The Babylon Bee.

Experts Say They Don’t Know What Thing Is Causing Everyone To Suddenly Collapse, But It’s Definitely Not That One Thing.

“It’s too early to say what could be causing this, but it’s never too early to say what isn’t causing this,” said local expert, Dr. Scott Rufflinger. “This could be caused by anything. But the one thing we know for certain is that it’s definitely not what we’re all thinking that’s behind this — if you know what I mean. We can go ahead and rule that thing out right now because Science just called us on the phone and told us not to discuss it. We always follow Science.”

According to sources, experts have been working tirelessly around the clock to try and get to the bottom of why so many seemingly perfectly healthy, athletic people are falling over suddenly.

“I wish I could point to something in the past year or two that large groups of people were exposed to, or forced into, but nothing comes to mind,” added Dr. Rufflinger. “If only there was one thing all these patients had in common.”

__________________________________

If only it […]

Corals covered the Australian desert once – maybe they’ll grow back if we screw in the right light globes?

by Jo Nova

The remnants of a long gone coral reef are not in the water here, but on top of the cliff. This is what real climate change looks like:*

The whole coral reef is now 100 m out of the water | Bahnfrend |

The Nullabor Plain.

It turns out the high plateau desert called the Nullarbor was once a coral reef. It’s a thousand kilometer stretch without a tree that’s now about 100m above sea level. Obviously it’s a wilderness that’s begging to be restored to its true Miocene glory. The question is whether we can put on enough solar panels to save this reef, or if we can melt the Antarctic and raise the oceans…

Researchers looking at satellite images spotted a suspicious looking dome and ring (below) . They figured out it was not a meteor crater but probably made of coral atoll. It’s about one kilometer across and corals built this (probably) 14 million years ago. Tectonic shifts lifted the land out of the ocean. If only the polyps had put in a carbon tax?

The Nullarbor is a bit special because the surface is well preserved. There is not […]

The latest from the frontlines of US Culture

It’s a bad moment in Civilization but it’s a great day in parody and satire

I wish we all could leave California now

The Wikipedia page “California Exodus“shows that in the last decade there has been a net loss of 1.2 million people domestically. That’s from a state with about 39m people.

In related news — the latest tweet of the LAPD

‘Flash Mob’ Looters Ransack Convenient Store after Street Takeover

On August 15 around 12:40am a street takeover initiated at Figueroa and El Segundo. The spectators then formed a ‘flash mob’ of looters and rushed a nearby 7-Eleven.

News Release: https://t.co/3IZOBqk0H6 pic.twitter.com/ti0SNqc9Jr

— LAPD HQ (@LAPDHQ) August 18, 2022

Best wishes to our friends in California.

10 out of 10 based on 33 ratings

A great moment in Gender Science

The same people that tell us to “Follow The Science” on climate change can’t predict what a woman is.

Or if they can, they’re too afraid to say so.

It’s not science, it’s just bullies at work.

9.5 out of 10 based on 104 ratings

The Atlantic warns that Nuclear War is a climate problem (and you thought bombs were OK?)

Just in case people were thinking a few nuclear bombs don’t matter:

“…even a relatively “minor” exchange of nuclear weapons would wreck the planet’s climate in enormous and long-lasting ways.”

Despite sounding crazily disconnected from reality, Robinson Meyer is slightly less crazy than the cult people he’s trying to reach. Many “artists” and “climate concerned progressives” have leapt on the latest hot-fashion-in-activism (who could have seen that coming?) and they’re calling for a No Fly Zone over Ukraine. It’s like they believe that putting up a sign saying “Warplane Free” will stop the warplanes.

Meyer has figured out that a No Fly Zone might lead to World War III, and he’s trying warn the raptured throngs, that things might not work out so well. Naturally, he’s speaking in lingua-leftie. But how, exactly do you scare someone in a climate cult? Not with nuclear war, but with something catastro-double-awful-bad for the climate.

On Top of Everything Else, Nuclear War Would Be a Climate Problem

By Robinson Meyer, The Atlantic

Social media pundits are having a field day:

On the richter scale of climate porn, what’s the worst thing Meyer can […]

Stop That Now! Climate change helps aggressive mangrove forests build bigger tropical islands

The oceans were supposed to be swallowing up the islands

Climate change has unleashed rampant growth in mangrove forests. The trees are capturing coral detritus in large sand drifts, and locking it into whole new ecosystems that expand 5 to 6 meters a year. It’s just remarkable — some islands have grown by several kilometers since 1928.

The Howick Group of islands is north of Cairns Australia. Three scientific expeditions mapped out them out in 1928 and in 1974, and again in 2021, and lo, they have grown, especially in the last four decades. That makes them like most of the 709 islands of the Pacific and Indian oceans that were studied a few years ago. Satellites showed that 89% of those islands had grown.

It turns out warmer more carbon rich world makes mangroves happy. Who could have seen that coming, apart from every biologist on Earth?

From the commentary in the video below:

“We’ve seen some really dramatic changes. Some of the things that we’ve seen are advancing fronts of forests. Forests that were mapped to small patches on the windward part of the reef flat are now occupying a much larger section of […]

Send some global warming to Canada

From Canadian Friends:

Hilarious! Way more fun than the “climate emergency “. pic.twitter.com/g0qY6LnmzG

— Patrick Moore (@EcoSenseNow) January 7, 2022

… And since it’s the weekend. For fun. Imagine memorizing his lines?

Its important to laugh. This made me cry with laughter. I miss comedy so much. Wokery has just about killed it off. pic.twitter.com/S7vpjJhwYU

— Laurence Fox ✝️ (@LozzaFox) January 8, 2022

Who is that man?

ANSWER: Paul Whitehouse, thanks to Great Aunt Janet.

PS: If the movies don’t show above, try another browser. Sigh. Not Firefox.

9.7 out of 10 based on 54 ratings

U.S. Military Switches To Swords And Bows To Meet Carbon Neutral Goals

The most surprising thing about the Brandon government is that it hasn’t done this before the Babylon Bee.

 

“We have a deadly enemy out there,” announced General “Sparkles” McKenzie, “and it’s called carbon. The problem with modern-day weapons is that they take a lot of carbon to make. But if we get some nice bespoke swords or bows and arrows, that will help us stay carbon neutral, and you can all sleep safe at night.”

There are some problems with the new policy, though. Some military simulations have shown that swords and bows do put the military at a disadvantage against armies that still use irresponsible gunpowder and explosive weapons. “We have a modern weapon for that,” explained McKenzie. “It’s called the hashtag #StopTheBang.

Looks like the US Army will skip the Solar Powered Tank transition proposed by NATO. But swords, bows and arrows are easier to carry on carbon neutral sailing ships. And better for marines using attack-bicycles.

President Xi praised Joe Biden’s foresight and agreed China would switch to carbon neutral weapons by 2070 or straight after Xi is elected Supreme World Leader.

___________

In other news (which is […]

“Let’s Go Brandon” threatens to Redpill the USA

It’s the laughter that gives it away.

The power of the phrase Lets Go Brandon is that it’s a coded message. In an unguarded moment it reveals how many people in the room get the joke. In a safe way, everyone who disapproves of Woke, political correctness, media activism or Joe Biden can see for themselves that nearly everyone around them does too.

For anyone who isn’t aware of what this strange social phenomenon is, read this. It’s a new form of mass rebellion in an era when cancel culture, censorship, and media bias suppressed the other options.

As Matt Taibbi explains, the masses are trolling the same media hacks and pompous elite players who were fine with four years of yelling “F*^* Trump”. And while F*^* Joe Biden is a protest cry, Let’s Go Brandon is so much better. It’s politer, funnier and pops the media bubble too. Conservatives who would not be comfortable with a crass chant can get in on the joke. Anyone fed up with media propaganda can join in, which is a lot of people.

And that’s what makes it so dangerous for the Culture Controllers. They use kindergarten namecalling and bullying to win […]

Infrastructure Bill Includes Capitol Building Expansion To Hold All The Pfizer Lobbyists

Satire:

Infrastructure Bill Includes Capitol Building Expansion To Hold All The Pfizer Lobbyists

Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senate leaders revealed today that Biden’s “Build Back Better” infrastructure plan will include $86 Billion for a brand-new Capitol Building construction project. The Capitol will be expanded to hold 100 Senators, 435 Representatives, and 1,423 Pfizer lobbyists.

h/t Tom Nelson

Not satire:

There’s plenty more lobbying where that came from:

Pfizer’s full FDA approval could lead to even greater profits By Melissa Holzberg and Tara Suter, Open Secrets

Pfizer reported $5.6 billion in net income during the second quarter of 2021 — that’s up more than $2 billion (from $3.5 billion) from its second quarter of 2020 report to the Securities and Exchange Commission. In the first half of 2021, Pfizer reported nearly $10.5 billion in net income. The company brought in $6.9 billion in the first six months of 2020.

In 2020, Pfizer spent $13.2 million on its lobbying efforts — that’s up from $11 million in 2019 and the most the company has spent on lobbying since 2009 during the debate over the Affordable Care Act.

Speaking of profiteering:

Merck’s 4,000% Markup […]

CDC Cautions Against Taking The Red Pill

ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has cautioned Americans against taking the red pill, as it can lead to severe side effects such as “realizing the truth about the way our society is manipulated by the elites” and “spending all your time on YouTube watching Jordan Peterson videos.”

“We’ve seen a lot of people recommend taking the red pill,” said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. “And we just have to remind everyone that the pill is not approved by the FDA or any other governing body. It could spread ideas like that freedom is a good thing and that thinking for yourself is a healthy American value. People might start getting the wrong idea.”

Meanwhile, the FDA is rushing out an emergency approval process on a new, stronger blue pill to counteract the red pill crisis.

Jo says read the rest at The BabylonBee. See the BluePill in the proto-Beta version at the TGA site, where the Australian Therapeutic Goods Administration warns that Doctors are no longer allowed to prescribe the Red Pill because people on social media are getting the doses wrong.

Informed consent means being told that if you don’t take the Blue Pill, […]

Big Pharma to the rescue: Ask your doctor about Pfivermectin*

For people wondering when this pandemic will end, the fastest way out is with drugs we already have, but they are too cheap. Luckily Big Pharma is here to save the day. Who knows when an extra methyl group, or a hydroxy add-on will find the drug we’ve all been waiting for — one that works like Ivermectin but costs so much more!

Thanks to the Babylon Bee.

Pfizer Releases Brand New, Never-Before-Seen Drug ‘Pfivermectin’.

After several successful rounds of trials and a quick overnight approval from the FDA, Pfizer proudly announced they will be releasing a brand new, never-before-seen COVID drug “Pfivermectin.”

“It’s important to understand that this drug is nothing like Ivermectin, even though Pfivermectin rhymes with Ivermectin and it pretty much does the exact same thing,” said Pfizer CEO Hans Pfizer. “Everyone knows Ivermectin is a widely discredited horse drug, and ours is not. Very important distinction there.”

Experts say that taking two doses of Pfivermectin every day at the first sign of COVID symptoms could lessen the severity and duration of the infection. Ivermectin will do the same thing, except it may also turn you into a horse […]

UN Climate conference banishes nuclear industry. China and renewables investors relieved.

The global nuclear industry has put in fifteen applications to display exhibits at the up-and-coming UN Climate COP26 event in Glasgow. But all fifteen have been rejected in preference for exhibits from industries that appear to solve climate problems but have little effect on actual emissions.

Nuclear power poses an existential threat to the Climate Porn and Fear Industry, potentially causing mass job losses by providing thousands of years of reliable electricity as well as grid scale spinning inertia, FCAS, and reserve capacity too.

President Xi could not be contacted, but has in the past encouraged the rest of the world to keep trying to cut emissions in the most expensive way possible.

Imagine what the world would look like if the UNFCCC wanted to solve the climate crisis? (And if there was one?)

hat tip GWPF

UK Govt under fire as nuclear industry claim they have been banned from COP26

The Sunday Telegraph

Up to 15 applications from nuclear-related bodies are understood to have been rejected by Mr Sharma’s COP26 Unit in the Cabinet Office.

They included an application involving the World Nuclear Association, which represents the global nuclear […]

Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques

When only the best will do:

Babylon Bee

“I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong,” said the ruthless dictator to reporters after sitting through a 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression. “Your American college professors have this down to an art!” …

The murderous leader of North Korea plans to go back to his home country and start his own Ivy League school: Kim Jong UNiversity.

Thanks to the Babylon Bee. Click the logo to read the rest.

9.9 out of 10 based on 44 ratings

Tucker Carlson: On the Death of Comedy

Tucker Carlson: Late-night Comedy died during Trump’s Presidency.

Adam Carolla:

” You know they’ve got to everybody when they’ve got to comedians. Think about that, Professors, cops and politicans — they caved. Now the fact that comedians have caved means everyone is scared of the Woke Mob. “



UPDATE: Youtubes gone, so Bitchute whole Episode here. Mark Steyn does some parody at 11 mins. The discussion of the Death of Comedy starts at 27 mins. 25 March 2021

But comedy is not complete dead on late night cable: check Mark Steyn — especially on the fawning slavish American Media:

Biden said we have to raise every road 3 feet because of climate change, … and they took that, these people, the Court Enuchs went along with it…

Mark Steyn on Joe Biden declaring he might run for another term:

… I have no idea who the government of the United States is, but if the Deep State can get away with this, they can get away with anything.

The Deep State are saying, if we can pull this off, we don’t need anyone in the Oval Office.

 

Matt Taibbi: […]

Meghan Markle Inspires girls — No Matter How Famous, Rich, And Powerful, They Will Always Be Oppressed

Fame, Fortune and Victimhood status is possible for anyone*

Babylon Bee reports unrecognised benefits of Meghan and Harry interview, inspiring millions of young girls:

“Oppression is inescapable,” said Markle, who is married to a prince and worth approximately $50 million. “If you are a woman– especially a woman of color, oppression will follow you all the days of your life and you will never really be happy.”

You can have it all:

“Thanks to Meghan Markle, I feel like I too can grow up to be a famous, rich, beautiful oppressed person,” said Mikayla White, a 5th-grade girl from Southern California. “It’s so encouraging to be reminded that I can grow up to be in the top 1% while never losing my resentment and high sensitivity to microaggressions.”

Markle has promised to continue taking her message of hope to girls everywhere until no one is happy or thankful anymore.

–Babylon Bee.

Out with all that old restraint, diplomacy, and gratitude for fame and fortune.

The Australian ABC described the interview as the worst imaginable for the Royal Family. Though some of us can still imagine what it would be like if, say, […]

The Bee: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

Australians send our best wishes to friends affected by the outbreak of Collectivist-20 Fever.

Breaking: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

PORTLAND, OR—The CDC has announced a full quarantine of Portland to prevent the spread of a dangerous virus known as communism.

Signs of an epidemic in Portland Oregon.

Although there is no known cure for communism, there are preventative measures that experts recommend, such as reading history books.

There is not enough satire in the world.

9.5 out of 10 based on 68 ratings

Remy discovers the hysterical, shrieking crowds are here for the entitlements.

Some great talent in time for the weekend.

Remy does The Beatles.

The money tap was already running before the visit from a virus. Someone’s going to have to break the bad news…

 

 

Written and Performed by Remy | Produced and Edited by Austin Bragg Music tracks and mastering by Ben Karlstrom

h/t Alexandra

9.2 out of 10 based on 42 ratings