JoNova

A science presenter, writer, speaker & former TV host; author of The Skeptic's Handbook (over 200,000 copies distributed & available in 15 languages).


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U.S. Military Switches To Swords And Bows To Meet Carbon Neutral Goals

The most surprising thing about the Brandon government is that it hasn’t done this before the Babylon Bee.

 

“We have a deadly enemy out there,” announced General “Sparkles” McKenzie, “and it’s called carbon. The problem with modern-day weapons is that they take a lot of carbon to make. But if we get some nice bespoke swords or bows and arrows, that will help us stay carbon neutral, and you can all sleep safe at night.”

There are some problems with the new policy, though. Some military simulations have shown that swords and bows do put the military at a disadvantage against armies that still use irresponsible gunpowder and explosive weapons. “We have a modern weapon for that,” explained McKenzie. “It’s called the hashtag #StopTheBang.

Looks like the US Army will skip the Solar Powered Tank transition proposed by NATO. But swords, bows and arrows are easier to carry on carbon neutral sailing ships. And better for marines using attack-bicycles.

President Xi praised Joe Biden’s foresight and agreed China would switch to carbon neutral weapons by 2070 or straight after Xi is elected Supreme World Leader.

___________

In other news (which is […]

“Let’s Go Brandon” threatens to Redpill the USA

It’s the laughter that gives it away.

The power of the phrase Lets Go Brandon is that it’s a coded message. In an unguarded moment it reveals how many people in the room get the joke. In a safe way, everyone who disapproves of Woke, political correctness, media activism or Joe Biden can see for themselves that nearly everyone around them does too.

For anyone who isn’t aware of what this strange social phenomenon is, read this. It’s a new form of mass rebellion in an era when cancel culture, censorship, and media bias suppressed the other options.

As Matt Taibbi explains, the masses are trolling the same media hacks and pompous elite players who were fine with four years of yelling “F*^* Trump”. And while F*^* Joe Biden is a protest cry, Let’s Go Brandon is so much better. It’s politer, funnier and pops the media bubble too. Conservatives who would not be comfortable with a crass chant can get in on the joke. Anyone fed up with media propaganda can join in, which is a lot of people.

And that’s what makes it so dangerous for the Culture Controllers. They use kindergarten namecalling and bullying to win […]

“Let’s go Brandon” — the oppressed find a new form of mass rebellion

It’s an interesting moment in US history. Most Australians may not know what “Let’s Go Brandon” means. Our major news outlets haven’t yet mentioned this cultural phenomenon. It’s being censored.

In the US, The People are not happy, and they’re finding new ways to protest. Traditional protests by the Unmentionables are being banned, or sabotaged by violent infiltrators and ignored by the media. It’s become dangerous to walk the streets and carry placards. A few fake protestors wearing horns can capture all the media glory — and the media is happy to use them to falsely define a largely Christian middle and working class phenomenon as “domestic terrorists”. So a movement has sprung up spontaneously at stadiums of thousands of people. How many Australians are even aware that mass chants of “F*** Joe Biden” are happening at football games in Utah, Oklahoma, Mississippi and New Jersey? These are crude mass declarations of rebellion. It’s being called “a movement” and it’s spreading. Individuals can’t be punished or silenced, and while it’s a desperately pitiful national conversation, it makes a point. It’s gross disrespect for the Office of the President.

So in front of that incendiary mass rebellion, an NBC TV Interviewer […]

Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques

When only the best will do:

Babylon Bee

“I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong,” said the ruthless dictator to reporters after sitting through a 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression. “Your American college professors have this down to an art!” …

The murderous leader of North Korea plans to go back to his home country and start his own Ivy League school: Kim Jong UNiversity.

Thanks to the Babylon Bee. Click the logo to read the rest.

9.9 out of 10 based on 44 ratings

Tucker Carlson: On the Death of Comedy

Tucker Carlson: Late-night Comedy died during Trump’s Presidency.

Adam Carolla:

” You know they’ve got to everybody when they’ve got to comedians. Think about that, Professors, cops and politicans — they caved. Now the fact that comedians have caved means everyone is scared of the Woke Mob. “



UPDATE: Youtubes gone, so Bitchute whole Episode here. Mark Steyn does some parody at 11 mins. The discussion of the Death of Comedy starts at 27 mins. 25 March 2021

But comedy is not complete dead on late night cable: check Mark Steyn — especially on the fawning slavish American Media:

Biden said we have to raise every road 3 feet because of climate change, … and they took that, these people, the Court Enuchs went along with it…

Mark Steyn on Joe Biden declaring he might run for another term:

… I have no idea who the government of the United States is, but if the Deep State can get away with this, they can get away with anything.

The Deep State are saying, if we can pull this off, we don’t need anyone in the Oval Office.

 

Matt Taibbi: […]

Meghan Markle Inspires girls — No Matter How Famous, Rich, And Powerful, They Will Always Be Oppressed

Fame, Fortune and Victimhood status is possible for anyone*

Babylon Bee reports unrecognised benefits of Meghan and Harry interview, inspiring millions of young girls:

“Oppression is inescapable,” said Markle, who is married to a prince and worth approximately $50 million. “If you are a woman– especially a woman of color, oppression will follow you all the days of your life and you will never really be happy.”

You can have it all:

“Thanks to Meghan Markle, I feel like I too can grow up to be a famous, rich, beautiful oppressed person,” said Mikayla White, a 5th-grade girl from Southern California. “It’s so encouraging to be reminded that I can grow up to be in the top 1% while never losing my resentment and high sensitivity to microaggressions.”

Markle has promised to continue taking her message of hope to girls everywhere until no one is happy or thankful anymore.

–Babylon Bee.

Out with all that old restraint, diplomacy, and gratitude for fame and fortune.

The Australian ABC described the interview as the worst imaginable for the Royal Family. Though some of us can still imagine what it would be like if, say, […]

There is still one conservative comedian on Youtube

In surprising news, KvonComedy hasn’t been banned yet.



Don’t underestimate how useful it is for you to just join in — Subscribe, comment, share, and speak your mind. Support those who are swimming against the tide.

If people can find his program on other forums I’ll add those links. Anything But Google.

h/t Jim Simpson

9.7 out of 10 based on 89 ratings

The Bee: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

Australians send our best wishes to friends affected by the outbreak of Collectivist-20 Fever.

Breaking: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

PORTLAND, OR—The CDC has announced a full quarantine of Portland to prevent the spread of a dangerous virus known as communism.

Signs of an epidemic in Portland Oregon.

Although there is no known cure for communism, there are preventative measures that experts recommend, such as reading history books.

There is not enough satire in the world.

9.5 out of 10 based on 68 ratings

Republican Rioters didn’t even get big screen TV’s

Republican Rioters have a lot to learn from Democrat counterparts:

Rioters on Congress

The rioters were condemned by people on both sides of the aisle, with critics slamming them for disrupting congressional proceedings, breaking through police barricades, and not even stealing a single Lego set, cheesecake, or Nike shoe in the name of justice. No footage emerged of the Capitol occupiers lighting cop cars on fire or throwing bricks through restaurant windows, causing the protesters to lose support from people of all political persuasions.

“One thing is clear,” said one political analyst. “These people obviously don’t know the sweet, sweet justice of lugging a 60-inch TV back to your apartment to show how much you care about your cause.”

 

@CKeirns

I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but how does a bloke in a Chewbacca bikini outwit the nation’s finest and storm the Capitol? By Lisa McKenzie.

In a country that spends about 900 billion dollars a year on security and defence, …how is it possible that a couple of thousand of badly dressed and quite frankly weird folks break into the USA’s centre of power?

9.3 out […]

Democrats: vote for us, we’ll wear you down, dox, and bully you but know we care…

Finally, an honest Democrats advert (made by someone other than the Democrats)

Too good not to share: …. If they didn’t have double standards they’d have no standards at all.

This is the great work of Allie Beth Stuckey — her channel.

9.2 out of 10 based on 85 ratings