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Christmas Carols for coal

Oh yes, sure. These are really going to catch on. The grippy totalitarian, gimme dat culture strikes again with hot lyrics like “We Wish You a Steady Climate”, “We all Yearn for Solar Panels”, and “Away in The Arctic”. They sound for all the world like they were written by a climate model.  If we can’t outdo this, making them funnier and more in the spirit of Christmas, I’ll eat my keyboard.

Please do your best, the official PDF is here. (Carols against Coal backed up here.)

We wish you a Steady Climate

Tune: Trad English (We with you a merry Christmas) Lyrics: Petrina Barson

We wish you a steady climate,
we wish you a steady climate,
we wish you a steady climate
and a happy new year.

Glad tidings we bring
to you and your kin.
We wish you a steady climate
and a happy new year.

We just want ambitious targets,
we just want ambitious targets,
we just want ambitious targets
so bring some out here.
Glad …

We won’t go until we get some,
we won’t go until we get some,
we won’t go until we get some
So bring some out here.
Glad …

Cool Down the World

Tune: Antioch (Joy to the World) Lyrics: Petrina Barson (ed Sharon France)

Cool down the world, the time has come
for targets tight and fair.
Let petrol, oil and coal
prepare to go.
Let’s fund renewables,
let’s fund renewables,
let’s fund, let’s fund renewables.

Cool down the world, the time has come
for nature to rebound.
The fields and floods,
rocks, hills and plains
repeat the sounding joy,
repeat the sounding joy,
repeat, repeat the sounding joy

Cool down the world, the time has come
to make the nations prove
their money’s where their mouths are,
they’ll pay to preserve
the wonders of this earth,
the wonders of this earth,
the wonders, the wonders of this earth.

O Come all ye Miners

Tune : Adeste Fideles (O come all ye faithful)  Lyrics: Robert Dawlings

O come all ye miners.
Come and dig up Queensland.
The Galilee’s waiting for your heavy
machines.
Where will you burn coal?
Renewables are coming.
It’s all about the climate,
It’s all about the climate,
It’s all about the climate that we
must protect.

The Carmichael mine, A-
dani’s current project
sought loans and freebies from the
government.
Palaszczuk said ”Veto”
”No” said all the Chinese.
It’s all …
We will support the
Front Line demonstration
blocking the building of a railway line
From the Carmichael
to the Abbot Point port.
It’s all …

Away in the Arctic

Tune: Cradle Song (Away in a Manger)
Lyrics: Robert Dawlings

Away in the Arctic, the glaciers melt;
the ice turns to water. The warming is felt
by bears on their ice floes drifting off
where they’re blown;
disconnected from food stocks, poor bears, all alone.
The carbon dioxide is making it hot.
We must draw it down if we care just one jot.
Technology’s coming, but will it come fast
enough for the bear to find food and to last.
The price is in billions, it’ll cost us all dear.
We must work the science, we’ll do it, no fear!
We must get a move on, not sit on the fence.
So what are the bears worth in dollars and cents?

Old Mate Canavan

Tune: Tempus adest floridum (Good King
Wenceslas) Lyrics: Karen France (ed Robert Dawlings)

Old mate Canavan went out
west in central Queensland.
Where the bush lay round about,
ancient place, a homeland.
Brightly shone the sun that day,
solar not his goal.
He just wanted his own way
mining lignite (brown) coal.

Hither folk and stand with me
we know what he’s doing.
Profit o’er the earth his plea
we’re the ones he’s screwing.
Can’t he see that climate change
is a real deal breaker.
Think it’s time to rearrange
cabinet and fakers.

Who supports Adani now?
Palaszczuk and ScoMo!
All the banks have made a vow
they all say it’s ‘no-go’.
We will raise our voices high.
Kids and friends depending
on a better life whereby
fossil fuels are ending.

robert rosicka

Heard this version of the little drummer boy the other day and wow .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l1CS0Jhk90

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 8.0/10 (44 votes cast)
Christmas Carols for coal, 8.0 out of 10 based on 44 ratings

Tiny Url for this post: http://tinyurl.com/y85f4dc2

79 comments to Christmas Carols for coal

  • #
    Michael in Brisbane

    This is a first for me, giving this post a one star rating.

    93

  • #
    Mark M

    Wind turbine, wind turbines, turbines all the way,

    Oh what stupidity it is to head, back to pre-industrial days, hey!

    280

  • #
    OriginalSteve

    And you wonder why people cant take tthis stuff seriously?

    I wonder if there is an AI “Climate Bot” that writes this nonsense…

    111

  • #

    Joy to the World; coal has gone;
    Let Earth receive the dark:
    Let every Heart rejoice,
    And Heaven and Nature sing.
    And Heaven and Nature sing.
    And Heaeaeaven and Nature sing.

    (Hmm! Would someone check that light switch again?)

    Tony.

    350

    • #
      tom0mason

      And TonyfromOz…

      Old King Coal was last dug out, on the Feast of Stephen.
      Wind and solar all about, rigged prices don’t breakeven.
      Brightly shone the the forest that night, the fire it was cruel,
      Now the poor folk roundabout hadn’t any fuel.

      90

  • #
    David Wood

    It seems unlikely that politicians who promise to produce 50% of our power from renewable sources have any idea what they mean. Do they mean A. plant capable of producing 50% under optimum conditions, ie constant sunshine and constant wind at just the right ‘Goldilocks’ speed, not too strong and not too weak, or B. plant capable of producing 50% over a long period of normally changing weather.

    If A, after allowing for the low capacity factors of renewable technology, then the plant will only provide about 12.5% of the needed power over any reasonably extended period, the rest would still need to be provided by fossil fuel plants, hydro or batteries.

    If B, then the nominal capacity of the plants would need to be equal to about 200% of total demand, allowing for a capacity factor of 25%, about the best that can be expected from a suite of wind and solar plants. However in this case there would still be a need for full backup by fossil, hydro or batteries, to cover the fairly frequent periods of little or no wind, and of course every night when there is no solar generation. An added complication is what to do with the 150% excess power produced when conditions are ideal for wind and solar. I can hear someone saying ”Oh, that would be used to charge the batteries”. Good luck with deciding upon the optimum size of those batteries which would need to instantaneously accept very large amounts of energy. The alternative is to just shut most of the solar or wind capacity down under these conditions, since a balanced grid can not take it, however this seems to defeat the purpose somewhat!

    161

    • #

      Thank you David: (my bolding here)

      The alternative is to just shut most of the solar or wind capacity down under these conditions, since a balanced grid can not take it, however this seems to defeat the purpose somewhat!

      Another little electrical engineering factoid that 99% of the masses cannot comprehend.

      At any single point of time, (down to minutes, or even seconds) the amount of power being generated MUST be exactly the same as what is being consumed. (plus approximately 3% tops for losses over distance etc)

      So, if the wind suddenly picks up, as it does do in fact, then other plants need to be taken out of the system, depending upon location, and vice versa, if the wind drops away, as it also does, then extra plants need to pretty much immediately come back on line to top up the grid to equal demand. The same applies for solar plant power, but hey who cares, that’s basically only 1.5% of all power generation.

      Why else do you think that coal fired power ramps up and down regularly, every day, within hours, by an amount between 3000m and 4000MW, sometimes even more than that. From the low at around 3 to 4 AM (depending on DST) to the morning peak, then back a bit, and then up to max at peak, and then slowly back to that 4AM Base Load minimum ….. EVERY DAY.

      But hey, weren’t we told that coal fired power is inflexible, and takes ….. days to run up to full power.

      Tony.

      370

      • #
        sophocles

        The alternative is to just shut most of the solar or wind capacity down

        Don’t worry about it David: Nature is working on that right now. The present solar minimum is working on the PV. At present, the Cosmic Rays are at the highest they’ve been since the start of the Space Age and may be climbing higher. Cosmic Rays create clouds. Clouds hide the sun. Hiding the sun reduces both PV capacity/efficiency and temperature.

        Electricity from Wind generation is being attacked with a falling off of wind all around the globe. This “stilling” of the wind has been observed since the seventies. So less energy is present in wind to extract.

        Yeah. Wind and sun are Free. So they’re going away. Great. Bring back coal …

        220

      • #
        MatrixTransform

        Thant great man Kirchoff be rolling in his grave right now.

        50

    • #
      Mal

      In the future, when the renewable experiment fails and we have the climate gate trials, will there be a “charge” of
      “assault with batteries? “

      270

  • #
    Jeff

    But I thought Father Christmas and the reindeer had gone extinct because the North pole had melted.
    Cancel Christmas.

    110

  • #
    Tel

    Carols by Candlelight

    Because the way Australia is going … everything will happen by candlelight.

    240

  • #
    Mal

    Old king Coal was a Merry old soul, and a Merry old soul was he.

    250

  • #
  • #
    Reed Coray

    OK Jo, here’s my entry (sung to Jingle Bells)

    Burning all that coal
    Warms our very soul
    o’er the lumps we roll
    Staying warm’s our goal.

    Watching Gaia squirm
    Maybe even burn
    Looking for a fight
    Makes our spirits bright.

    Doing what we should
    Even all we could
    Doing plants much good
    Better coal than wood

    Laughing at our peers
    Holding back our tears
    Can’t believe our ears
    Hearing phony fears.

    Busy at the pole,
    Elfs are mining coal
    Santa’s on a roll
    Leaving lumps of coal.

    530

  • #
    Peter C

    Apres Coal we can all enjoy the winter with no heating! Just like Good King Wenceslas and his serf. Pity about all the trees we will have to cut down.

    Good King Wenceslas looked out
    On the feast of Stephen
    When the snow lay round about
    Deep and crisp and even
    Brightly shone the moon that night
    Though the frost was cruel
    When a poor man came in sight
    Gath’ring winter fuel

    “Hither, page, and stand by me
    If thou know’st it, telling
    Yonder peasant, who is he?
    Where and what his dwelling?”
    “Sire, he lives a good league hence
    Underneath the mountain
    Right against the forest fence
    By Saint Agnes’ fountain.”

    “Bring me flesh and bring me wine
    Bring me pine logs hither
    Thou and I will see him dine
    When we bear him thither.”
    Page and monarch forth they went
    Forth they went together
    Through the rude wind’s wild lament
    And the bitter weather

    “Sire, the night is darker now
    And the wind blows stronger
    Fails my heart, I know not how,
    I can go no longer.”
    “Mark my footsteps, my good page
    Tread thou in them boldly
    Thou shalt find the winter’s rage
    Freeze thy blood less coldly.”

    In his master’s steps he trod
    Where the snow lay dinted
    Heat was in the very sod
    Which the Saint had printed
    Therefore, Christian men, be sure
    Wealth or rank possessing
    Ye who now will bless the poor
    Shall yourselves find blessing

    90

    • #
      Annie

      I think that line in verse 4 goes ‘Mark my footsteps, good my page’ doesn’t it? A favourite carol of mine. I love the old traditional Christmas carols, especially when sung by a really good Cathedral choir (or quire if you prefer it).

      71

      • #
        Peter C

        Dear Annie.

        Your memory is so correct.

        The Carol does inspire goodwill. As opposed to all the greenie nonsense

        90

  • #

    Just read that last offering about Canavan, where it says this:

    He just wanted his own way
    mining lignite (brown) coal.

    Oh dear.

    Brown coal, in Central Queensland?????

    See the cluelessness of these people.

    Tony.

    200

  • #
    Crakar24

    I concede defeat and dibs me lid to yonnie peak stupid is a mirage, something unobtainable but that won’t stop people trying.

    Hence the re jigging of Xmas carols which indicates these people have no shame, they have no base level that even they won’t go.

    Anything and everything is possible ergo peak stupid will never be reached.

    90

    • #
      Annie

      I thought ìt was supposed to be infinite, was it not?!

      71

    • #
      Yonniestone

      Its ok Crakar just go with it, is the peak an actual peak or simply a small bump before the decline?

      Who knows such things except for those that believe they know.

      50

  • #
    WXcycles

    I’m fairly sure this whole idea was proposed by yet another professor from some busted-ass psychology department.

    Cool World – Mondo Rock
    https://youtu.be/5WRozCdiR6U

    Icehouse – Flowers
    https://youtu.be/LhQRxr_cfYw

    A Day in the House – Jeff Beck
    https://youtu.be/lrZNrHUtO-8

    I don’t believe any more – Icehouse
    https://youtu.be/mud8PLSvrXk

    Can’t Stand the Weather – Stevie Ray Vaughn
    https://youtu.be/nO23B5C_Mcw

    Spooky – Atlanta Rhythm Section
    https://youtu.be/qpTBo84_xKY

    The last one has nothing to do with it, it’s just an incredibly groovy song.

    60

  • #
    robert rosicka

    Heard this version of the little drummer boy the other day and wow .

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l1CS0Jhk90

    60

  • #

    Not a carol as such, but my halfpennorth:

    Imagine there’s no fossil fuels
    It’s easy if you try
    Chill earth beneath us
    O’er us cold blue sky
    Imagine all the people
    dying in their droves…

    Imagine there’s no fossil fuels
    It isn’t hard to do
    Naught to aid survival
    the CAGW religion too
    Imagine all the people
    dying in their droves…

    You may say I’m a dreamer
    But I’m not the only one
    I hope someday you’ll join us
    And the population will be just one

    Imagine fewer humans
    I wonder if you can
    All is fear and hunger
    A change caused by man
    Imagine all the people
    dying in their droves…

    You may say I’m a dreamer
    But I’m not the only one
    I hope someday you’ll join us
    And the population will be just one

    160

  • #
    AndyG55

    To the School-kid protesters (from an email I received)

    To all the school kids going on “strike” for Climate Change.

    You are the first generation who have required air-conditioning in every classroom.

    You want TV in every room and your classes are all computerised.

    You spend all day and night on electronic devices.

    More than ever, you don’t walk or ride bikes to school but arrive in caravans of private
    cars that choke suburban roads and worsen rush hour traffic.

    You are the biggest consumers of manufactured goods ever and update perfectly good expensive luxury items to stay trendy,

    Your entertainment comes from electric devices.

    Furthermore, the people driving your protests are the same people who insist on artificially inflating the population growth through immigration, which increases the need for energy, manufacturing and transport.

    The more people we have, the more forest and bushland we clear and more of the environment is destroyed.

    How about this…

    Tell your teachers to switch off the air-con.

    Walk or ride to school. Switch off your devices and read a book.

    Make a sandwich instead of buying manufactured fast food.

    No, none of this will happen because you are selfish, badly educated, virtue signalling little t**ds, inspired by the adults around you who crave a feeling of having a “noble cause” while they indulge themselves in Western luxury and unprecedented quality of life.”

    Wake up, grow up and shut up until you are sure of the facts before protesting.”

    392

  • #
    Tides of Mudgee

    Not strictly about coal, and sung to “Oh Come all ye faithful”

    Oh come all ye warmists
    You think you’re so triumphant
    Oh come on, admit it now, you’re wrong, wrong, wrong
    Climate is changing,
    But we are not the cause of it.
    We cannot change the CO2,
    It doesn’t drive the temperature,
    The biggest lie in history
    Christ I’m bored.

    ToM

    190

  • #

    Fitting re the human condition, yr reverential Alleluia Chorus and then yr laughter, befitting the Divine Comedy( yr sceptic’s way) so sayeth William of Baskerville in ‘The Name of the Rose’ and here, the Goodies presenting yr Xmas Pantomime, (Charles Dickens’ setting in the Little Ice Age.)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5zUX5rhpF8

    60

  • #
    pat

    can’t beat those already posted, tho I did try to work up something along the lines of -

    O coal-less night the family are freezing…

    never mind. at COP24, they are about 10 hours behind on their 4am announcement. only the CAGW faithful remain, and they are homeless:

    TWEET: Camilla Born, E3G
    Kicked out of our meeting room because they’re starting to dismantle the venue #COP24 #OverRunProblems
    15 Dec 2018
    https://twitter.com/camillaborn/status/1073878648929824768

    this might provide a clue:

    15 Dec: CGTN: Chinese representative at COP24: ‘No one’s satisfied’ is the best possible result
    By Gong Zhe
    “No one’s satisfied. Everyone compromises. This is the best we can get from COP24,” Xie Zhenhua, head of the Chinese representatives at the COP24, explained.
    To save the Earth from rising temperatures, we must limit the amount of carbon dioxide we produce.
    But low emissions mean less fossil fuel consumption, which will hurt the economy and people’s livelihood. That’s why we will not be satisfied overall…

    But according to the philosophy of the Chinese representatives, fighting leads to nowhere. Compromise is the way to achieve balance between countries.
    “That’s what we call zhongyong,” said Xie, referring to a Chinese philosophical term similar to the “golden mean” in ancient Greek theories…
    https://news.cgtn.com/news/3d3d414e33497a4d31457a6333566d54/share_p.html

    50

  • #
    Lionell Griffith

    If the shoe fits, wear it.

    Wishes is all you have. You expect the wishes to be able to force reality to obey. When they don’t, you fake the data, say that it does, ask for, and get more grant money to make still more wishes. In the end, we all pay because wishing and lets pretend doesn’t actually work. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

    A fundamental fact is that energy in is always more than work out. Something can only be made from that which already exists. Entropy, energy from which no work can be extracted, always increases even if you try to ignore that it does. Using the brute force of government coercion to make other people pay for your evasion soon fails to “deliver the goods.” This, no matter how much publicity, pontification, propaganda, and governmental brute force you offer saying otherwise. See the twentieth century as a horrifying case in point.

    Finally, the longer you try to scam the system, the higher the ultimate cost. The most you can hope for is that you die while you are ahead of the game. You can’t take it with you but, at least, all you had to pay for what you took is your worthless life. Sadly, all your free lunches still must be paid for by the rest of us.

    Why wait? Check out now. You won’t be missed. In fact, the rest of us would likely rejoice your well earned demise. You will have gotten out of the cart the rest of us must pull. You will have stopped consuming the goods we have produced for which you cannot and will not pay. You, who pretends that just because you are alive, gives you the right to consume the lives of others without exchanging value for value no longer be a drag on the system.

    130

  • #
    tom0mason

    Yep, it’s just like the fab and groovy 1960-1970s when old squares couldn’t dig hip young swinging set, man. Or, yep just like the 1960-1970s there is s riff being driven through the generations. Many of older generation understand that it’s all climate hype and noise just to grab money, but many of younger generation fearfully believe their future is being squandered by oldies.

    Let’s pray that over the Christmas period these disparate generations can get together and see that there is more to life than unproven dry inanimate factiods, there are relationships and those are important.

    90

  • #
    Dave in the States

    We wish you a steady climate,
    we wish you a steady climate,
    we wish you a steady climate
    and a happy new year.

    That says so much. The climate has never really been steady and it never will be. We have had medieval warm periods and little ice ages in less than millennium. We have had droughts lasting decades and centuries in western N. America during that same millennium. Hurricanes, floods, tornadoes…. Even during the 20th century we have seen both warming trends lasting decades, and cooling trends lasting decades-both independent of co2 concentration. A steady climate is the faulty assumption that people have been lead believe. People have been told that a steady climate is the normal. This leads to the faulty assumptions that we can control and normalize, or abnormalize, the climate through mankind’s actions.

    170

    • #
      Yonniestone

      As quoted from the Work of Heraclitus of Ephesus on Nature “Change is the only constant in life”

      Profoundly true with the exception of warmist climate predictions, as they have and always will constantly fail!

      100

    • #
      AndyG55

      “We wish you a steady climate,”

      Again, I ask the questions

      1. Apart from a very minor, but beneficial, rise in atmospheric temperature, in what way has the climate changed in the last 40 years?

      2. If there are any changes, is there any scientific proof of human influence.

      3. Is there any empirical evidence that enhanced atmospheric CO2 causes warming?

      112

      • #
        Latus Dextro

        AndyG55, the unfalsifiable UN definition of climate change refers specifically to ‘direct and indirect anthropogenic influence on atmospheric composition and land usage‘.

        In the last 40 years world population has climbed from 4.2B to 7.6B.

        By UN definition of climate change, they would likely assert it has about doubled.
        To zero out UN ‘climate change‘ the diabolical solution is to zero out humanity, by whatever means possible. I think we all know and recognise the way in which the UN and its tentacles engage in that satanic mission.

        In the real world where ‘climate’ means a 30 yr. stint of weather, and ‘change’ is some measurable delta something, the rarely referred to UN defined ‘climate variability‘ remains the only measurable player on the field.
        All else is essentially, imaginary, adjusted, local, theoretical and/or ideological.

        50

        • #
          Kinky Keith

          In other words,

          there is No Climate Science relating Human Origin CO2 to World Atmospheric Temperature.

          We have all been issued with Dunces Caps and must wear them when we go to work to pay for the extra taxes that are siphoned off to pay for the Imaginary Solution to the Imaginary Problem of Climate Change.

          We live in desperate times where our future, Tomorrow, looks like a Poorer version of Yesterday.

          KK

          60

          • #
            AndyG55

            there is No Climate Science relating Human Origin CO2 to World Atmospheric Temperature.

            PRECISELY.

            Absolutely NONE.

            81

      • #
        Dave in the States

        Yes, in the short term-decades- it is amazingly stable. However, over longer terms such as a millennia, which is not very long on geologic time scale, there could be significant changes such as the MWP followed by the LIA. The 50′s, 60′s, and 70′s of the 20th century saw a cooling trend. The 10′s, 20′s and 30′s saw a warming trend. In both short term and longer term fluctuations we find a lack of correlation with c02 concentration.

        20

  • #
    Ruairi

    Our carols will withstand attack,
    From warmists who try to hijack,
    These great Christmas tunes,
    And from climate-change loons,
    Who use them to hate coal and slack.

    130

  • #
  • #
    Another Ian

    ““…it is the change in temperature compared to what we’ve been used to that matters.” – Part 2″

    https://wattsupwiththat.com/2018/12/15/it-is-the-change-in-temperature-compared-to-what-weve-been-used-to-that-matters-part-2/

    30

  • #
    Another Ian

    “The People Who Want To Blot Out The Sun …”

    https://realclimatescience.com/2018/12/the-people-who-want-to-blot-out-the-sun/

    Obviously using a model of a uni-seasonal world

    40

  • #
  • #
  • #
    David-of-Cooyal-in-Oz

    My musical skills are quite low,
    So I hope my attempt at blank verse might show
    That at least my brain
    Is in the right place.
    For
    While to organise a urination in a brewery does need
    A consensus of conspirators to succeed,
    As Albert the E once said:
    “Just one disproof, and my theory is dead”.

    Cheers,
    Dave B

    60

  • #
    Latus Dextro

    Not readily given to this kind of prose but in the spirit and blessings of the season, Happy Christmas and apologies to one and all.

    The First Noel
    (mod. English carol, 17th century)
    —————————————————————
    The first Noel Mike Mann did say
    Was a great warming now well underway
    In committees they lay,
    In politics they played,
    Laying out their plans
    On a hot summers day.
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    They hooked up and saw a scam
    Shining was the West all ’round them now,
    And to the earth they gave great cash,
    And so it continued both day and night.
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    And by the cash from that great wealth
    Wise men flew from countries afar,
    To seek more cash was their intent
    And to follow the wealth
    Wherever it went.
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    This faith grew forth to all the World
    Over everything it took its cue,
    And there it did both stop and stay
    Over every place where power lay.
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    Then did they know the great cooling seas
    That their models were nix just a vacant big tease:
    as the meme failed the dream did too,
    And they found themselves deep in the loo:
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    Then came the greater cold, the grand solar change,
    that created a big chill over the world:
    no food, no crops, no cash, no tax,
    Gone is the greed of the carbon creed.
    No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
    Green is the face of Gaial!
    —————————————————————
    Then let us all with one accord
    Sing praise to all the earthly joules,
    That hath made heaven
    out of naught on earth,
    And with warmth mankind has brought great cheer.
    Noel Noel Noel Noel!
    Born is the King of Israel!

    100

  • #
    Robber

    Merry Christmas Jo, chocolates, carols and candles in the tip jar. Enjoy.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Twelve greenies prattling
    Eleven warmists nagging
    Ten pollies raving
    Nine coal mines working
    Eight windmills idling
    Seven panels sunning
    Six rent takers reaping
    Five RETs
    Four subsidies
    Three promises broken
    Two climate cultists
    And Australia up a gum tree.

    Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
    Christmas in Australia
    on a scorching summers day, Hey!
    Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
    Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Climate Chute.

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  • #
    theRealUniverse

    Good rhymes all round ;)
    You cant make this stuff up..(referring to the thread title)

    30

  • #
    Alice Thermopolis

    T’is the silly season. Time to celebrate larrikins-a-leaping, maids-a-milking, hounds-a-hunting, geese-a-gabbling, politicians-a-posturing, progressives-a-plotting and some climate conundrums in song. (Tune: Twelve Days of Christmas).

    On the first day of Christmas,
    Catholic Online sent to me
    More climate fare from the Holy Chair,
    And a post-truth partridge in a pear tree.

    On the second day of eco-worrying,
    Satan sent to me
    A Polar Vortex to perplex,
    And a Trump-et in a populist tree.

    On the third day of extreme-weather,
    An angel sent to me
    A message from Jehovah, another super-Nova,
    And a Paltridge in a pear tree.

    On the fourth day of weird-weather,
    Project Stardust sent to me
    Samples from my gutter that made me splutter
    But no alarmist from the IPCC.

    On the fifth day of Christmas,
    The American Geophysical Union sent to me
    Feelings of anger, panic and fear;
    Free of charge, without a fee.

    On the seventh day of extreme weather,
    Cool La Nina sent to me
    News that El Niño’s fading fast.
    The scare just couldn’t last, said she.

    On the eighth day of eco-worrying,
    Scott and Shackleton sent a note to me:
    Little change in sea ice in a century, that’s nice;
    And fifty penguins in a pear tree.

    On the ninth day of Goldilocks weather,
    Someone on the Hill sent a card to me;
    Wow. Energy security’s the buzz-word now,
    And one hundred politicians in a baobab tree.

    On the tenth day of unsustainable power,
    The Energy Market Operator sent a report to me:
    Relax, it said, our generational mix is fine;
    And one thousand windmills in a pro bono publico tree.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas,
    Two RMIT fellows sent a recipe to me:
    Eat the roo, not the moo,
    And ten thousand turkeys in a peer tree.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas,
    A prophecy came to me:
    Curses. The alarmist circus is,
    Perhaps, running out of time. We’ll see.

    Sound the TRUMP-ET!

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  • #
    doc

    Boring and juvenile. Sums up the greens and true believers really.

    30

  • #
    Roy Hogue

    Sorta makes you yearn for the days when you might get a lump of coal in your Christmas stocking if you were naughty instead of nice doesn’t it?

    It’s a case of we grew up and they didn’t. I can’t think of any other explanation.

    70

  • #
    Konrad

    I believe M4GW got there first with “It’s a ClimateGate Christmas!”

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dpQXY4tWaoI

    40

  • #
    Craig Thomas

    It’s like going to the Circus.

    11

  • #
    Bob in Castlemaine

    So it’s official now, The Holy Church of Climate Change, complete with carols complementing the gospels of the holy profits of the IPCC.

    40

    • #
      Craig Thomas

      Wow, I thought those carols were going to be the weirdest thing I read today, and then “Bob from Castlemaine” comes along with…whatever that was…

      14

  • #
    trevor

    satire is dead

    10

  • #
    trevor

    satire is dead

    10

  • #
    Sonny

    I don’t want a lot for Christmas
    There’s just one thing I need
    I don’t care about the presents
    and all that capitalist greed.
    I just want to stop climate change
    Though my friends think i’m deranged
    Make my wish come true
    All I want for Christmas
    Is to impose my world-view.

    I don’t want a lot for Christmas
    There is just one thing I need
    I don’t care about the presents
    And would never cut down a tree
    I don’t buy china made stockings
    And would never light my fireplace
    Santa Claus won’t make me happy
    His plastic toys are a disgrace.
    I just want to fight global warming
    i don’t care if i am conforming
    Make my wish come true
    All I want for Christmas
    Is to impose my world-view.

    I won’t ask for much this Christmas
    I won’t even wish for snow
    I’m just gonna keep on waiting
    For the big coal overthrow
    I won’t make a list and send it
    To the North Pole for Saint Nick
    I would rather stay awake
    and study Mann’s hockey stick.
    I just want to get climate right
    Thats why i won’t turn on the light
    What more can i do?
    Baby all I want for Christmas is
    to impose my world-view.

    No lights are shining
    There is darkness everywhere
    And the sound of children’s
    Laughter vanished into thin air.
    Nobody is singing
    But i hear those alarm bells ringing
    Santa won’t you help me with my scruple
    And make Christmas Carbon Neutral.

    Oh I don’t want a lot for Christmas
    This is all I’m asking for
    I just want to see this world
    Become like Orwell’s 1984
    I just want warming to slow
    More than you could ever know
    Make my wish come true
    Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.
    Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.
    Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.

    10