JoNova

A science presenter, writer, speaker & former TV host; author of The Skeptic's Handbook (over 200,000 copies distributed & available in 15 languages).



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Fast forward 2019

NOTE: Above is a spoof. All credit to Marc Morano. “Any resemblance to persons living or dead is a complete embarrassment”. The New York Times conceded this week that tropical rainforest problems had been hyped, nearly a decade after Morano pointed it out.


The New York Times 

February 2, 2019

Scientists Now Say Global Warming Fears Fading Away – Claim Warming Consensus Never Existed

By Andrew Revko – New York Times Environmental Reporter

As the Earth continues to cool, UN scientists now concede that CO2 was never the climate driver many made it out to be. The entire multi-trillion dollar global warming movement now appears to have been a result of massive funding, media hype and group think.

The UN IPCC claims it never really promoted man-made climate fears and instead urged media outlets to cover its new environmental claim, the scarcity of oxygen on Earth. The UN issued a warning last week declaring it was “immoral” to question the new consensus that the Earth was fast running out of oxygen. “As citizens of the world prepare to take their last gasps of air, they have no one to blame for our continued inaction but the well-funded oxygen denial industry,” said UN chief Al Gone. [Note: There are actually people warning about the "oxygen crisis" in 2008.]

Researcher Naomi Oresko, echoed Gore, declaring that her analysis of 55,000 studies proved that all scientists agree the Earth is running out of oxygen.

Andrew Dresslear of Gripe Magazine noted that there were only two dozen scientists who are not part of the new consensus regarding he “oxygen crisis.”

Many scientists now deny ever being worried about CO2 emissions.

Gavin Schmite maintains he and his colleagues at Wishful Climate never promoted man-made global warming fears. “This is simply the deniers inventing history,” Schmite said.

“First the deniers claimed that some scientists hyped a coming ice age in the 1970′s and now they are claiming we hyped warming in the latter part of 20th century and the first decade of the 21th century. What the world needs to understand is Wishfull Climate has never and can never be wrong because all weather and climate are perfectly consistent with all of our models. There has never been a climatic event that was not predicted by our models,” a red-faced Schmite insisted.

Schmite however did concede that climate models have appeared to be incorrect on many occasions.

“If a climate event or trend occurred that did not mesh with our models, we simply made some ‘adjustments’ after the fact to ensure the models’ reliability,” Schmite said.

Schmite made his remarks while he was taking remedial science courses following the advice that prominent atmospheric scientist Dr. Hendrik Tennekes gave to Real Climate’s Gavin Schmidt in 2009. Tennekes is a scientific pioneer in the development of numerical weather prediction and former director of research at The Netherlands’ Royal National Meteorological Institute. ) See: 2009 post: Prominent Scientist ‘Appalled’ By Gavin Schmidt’s ‘lack of knowledge’ – ‘Back to graduate school, Gavin!’ )

Stanford University’s Stephen Schnooder said he knew warming fears were wrong the whole time. “I predicted global cooling in the 1970′s,” Schnooder recalled.

Whether we face warming or cooling, the key point is we must have a consensus that crushes any dissent and we must have scientists as political advocates,” Schnooder added.

The lone holdout still promoting global warming doom appears to be NASA scientist James Hansoon who insists that his temperature database shows radical warming still continuing unabated.

“I know all other temperature databases-both land-based and satellite show cooling, but they do not account for my patented special adjustment program that can turn cooling into warming,” Hansoon explained.

Hansoon expanded his call for “crimes against humanity” trials for Gone, Oresko and Schmite for joining the deniers.


This is a good sign folks. I’ve always said we’ll know we are winning when comedy writers start to use AGW for material… Cheers, JoNova

 

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Fast forward 2019, 9.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

Tiny Url for this post: http://tinyurl.com/2du3qg5

35 comments to Fast forward 2019

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    Tom G(ologist)

    I often lament the untimely passing of Douglas Adams in this world where very few GOOd comdians understand science well enough to poke fun at it well. this one is pretty good.

    Tom


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    Phillip Bratby

    This isn’t a spoof. He has a deterministic model and a big computer.


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    I had not seen this before…for a second, it was “what the heck” is this, until I noticed date. Good stuff.

    Possibly what turned the corner was the majority of scientists deciding global warming was a farce while they were still thought of as a minority. See updated list of the present majority and climbing fast:

    http://www.c3headlines.com/quotes-from-global-warming-critics-skeptics-sceptics.html

    Also, these scientists are the ones that started publishing the data in formats that the general public learned from and turned against the global-warming frights, as surveys are now showing. Here’s the data people are starting to seek and view:

    http://www.c3headlines.com/chartsimages.html

    Most definitely, 20 years from now people will be viewing the current period as a severe case of global hysteria by elites, wasting valuable resources and time on Don Quixote-like escapades.

    C3H Editor


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  • #
    Clive

    Jo..sent you an email when I read this spoof. Attached to the email is this fake newspaper article … here:

    http://photoshare.shaw.ca/image/2/d/8/63987/coolingarticlespoof-0.jpg

    I wrote it in 2003 and it is datelined 2012. Sorry for the poor quality scan … and I deleted the original Word file. :(

    Great site. Thanks.

    Clive
    Alberta, Canada


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    Mike Davis

    Phillip: He used the QCM5002A time machine which has better resoulution than previous models!
    Clive: Good read!
    JoNova: Thank you!


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    Dr. Gerhard Loebert

    A New Theory of Gravitation Yields the True Cause of Climate Change

    After three decades of continual increase, the mean Earth temperature has been decreasing steadily since 2002, as precise satellite measurements show. As a result, the steady rise in sea level has stopped since 2005.

    World climate is a regular quasi-periodic phenomenon [driven by solar activity with a period of 70 - 80 years (Gleissberg cycle)] that lags the mean Earth rotational velocity by 6 years. Because of this regularity, it can be stated with absolute certainty that the mean Earth temperature will continue to decrease until 2040.

    A Compilation of the Arguments that Irrefutably Prove that Climate Change is driven by Solar Activity and not by CO2 Emission

    Dr. Gerhard Löbert, Otterweg 48, 85598 Baldham, Germany. March 6, 2008.
    Physicist. Recipient of The Needle of Honor of German Aeronautics.
    Conveyor of a super-Einsteinian theory of gravitation that not only covers the well-known Einstein effects but also explains, among many other post-Einstein-effects, the Sun-Earth-Connection and the true cause of the global climate changes.

    I. Climatological facts

    As the glaciological and tree ring evidence shows, climate change is a natural phenomenon that has occurred many times in the past, both with the magnitude as well as with the time rate of temperature change that have occurred in the recent decades. The following facts prove that the recent global warming is not man-made but is a natural phenomenon.

    1. In the temperature trace of the past 10 000 years based on glaciological evidence, the recent decades have not displayed any anomalous behaviour. In two-thirds of these 10 000 years, the mean temperature was even higher than today. Shortly before the last ice age the temperature in Greenland even increased by 15 degrees C in only 20 years. All of this without any man-made CO2 emission!

    2. There is no direct connection between CO2 emission and climate warming. This is shown by the fact that these two physical quantities have displayed an entirely different temporal behaviour in the past 150 years. Whereas the mean global temperature varied in a quasi-periodic manner, with a mean period of 70 years, the CO2 concentration has been increasing exponentially since the 1950′s.
    The sea level has been rising and the glaciers have been shortening practically linearly from 1850 onwards. Neither time trace showed any reaction to the sudden increase of hydrocarbon burning from the 1950′s onwards. In response to the mean Earth temperature that has been decreasing steadily since 2002, the mean sea level has stopped to rise since 2005.

    3. The hypothesis that the global warming of the past decades is man-made is based on the results of calculations with climate models in which the main influence on climate is not included. The most important climate driver (besides solar luminosity) comes from the interplay of solar activity, interplanetary magnetic field strength, cosmic radiation intensity, and cloud cover of the Earth atmosphere. As is shown in Section II, this phenomenon is generated by the action of galactic vacuum density waves on the core of the Sun.

    4. The extremely close correlation between the changes in the mean global temperature and the small changes in the rotational velocity of the Earth in the past 150 years (see Fig. 2.2 of http://www.fao.org/DOCREP/005/Y2787E/y2787e03.htm), which has been ignored by the mainstream climatologists, leaves little room for a human influence on climate. This close correlation results from the action of galactic vacuum density waves on the Sun and on the Earth (see Section II). Note that temperature lags rotation by 6 years.

    5. From the steady decrease of the rotational velocity of the Earth that set in in Dec. 2003, it can reliably be concluded that the mean Earth temperature will decrease again in 2010 for the duration of three decades as it did from 1872 to 1913 and from 1942 to 1972.

    6. The RSS AMSU satellite measurements show that the global temperature has not increased since 2001 despite the enormous worldwide CO2 emissions. Since 2002 it has been decreasing again.

    II. Physical explanation for the strong correlation between fluctuations of the rotational velocity and changes of the mean surface temperature of the Earth

    Despite its great successes, the gravitational theory of the great physicist Albert Einstein, General Relativity, (which is of a purely geometric nature and is totally incompatible with the highly successful quantum theory) must be discarded because this theory is completely irreconcilable with the extremely large energy density of the vacuum that has been accurately measured in the Casimir experiment.

    Seaon Theory, a new theory of gravitation based on quantum mechanics that was developed eight decades after General Relativity, not only covers the well-known Einstein-effects but also shows up half a dozen post-Einstein effects that occur in nature. From a humanitarian standpoint, the most important super-Einsteinian physical phenomenon is the generation of small-amplitude longitudinal gravitational waves by the motion of the supermassive bodies located at the center of our galaxy, their transmission throughout the Galaxy, and the action of these waves on the Sun, the Earth and the other celestial bodies through which they pass. These vacuum density waves, which carry with them small changes in the electromagnetic properties of the vacuum, occur in an extremely large period range from minutes to millennia.

    On the Sun, these vacuum waves modulate the intensity of the thermonuclear energy conversion process within the core, and this has its effect on all physical quantities of the Sun (this is called solar activity). This in turn has its influences on the Earth and the other planets. In particular, the solar wind and the solar magnetic field strength are modulated which results in large changes in the intensity of the cosmic radiation reaching the Earth. Cosmic rays produce condensation nuclei so that the cloud cover of the atmosphere and the Earth albedo also change. A mere 1% reduction in cloud cover explains most of the temperature increase of the past 150 years.

    On the Earth, the steady stream of vacuum density waves produces parts-per-billion changes in a large number of geophysical quantities. The most important quantities are the radius, circumference, rotational velocity, gravitational acceleration, VLBI baseline lengths, and axis orientation angles of the Earth, as well as the orbital elements of all low-earth-orbit satellites. All of these fluctuations have been measured. The modulations of the Earth’s circumference (in the decimeter range) trigger large earthquakes.

    Irrefutable evidence for the existence of this new, super-Einsteinian wave type is provided by the extremely close correlation between changes of the mean temperature and fluctuations of the mean rotational velocity of the Earth. (see the figure referred to in Section I.4). Einsteinian theory cannot explain this amazing correlation between two physical quantities that seem to be completely unrelated.

    While the rotational velocity of the Earth and the thermonuclear energy conversion process on the Sun react simultaneously to the passage of a vacuum density wave, a time span of 6 years is needed for the energy output change at the core of the Sun to reach the Earth’s atmosphere and for the latter’s reaction time.

    As can be seen, super-Einsteinian gravitation reveals the true cause of climate change.

    Ref.: http://www.icecap.us/images/uploads/Lobert_on_CO2.pdf


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    Mike Davis

    Dr. Loebert: Thank you for sharing. I enjoy seeing alternative points of view and advances beyond the static state of the consensus which seems to be failing.


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    Phillip Bratby

    Dr Loebert, I read your paper previously and have to admit that the physics is beyond my comprehension. However, it seems plausible and the correlation looks convincing.


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    cmb

    Wonderful satire, doctor! I particularly enjoyed

    “These vacuum density waves, which carry with them small changes in the electromagnetic properties of the vacuum, occur in an extremely large period range from minutes to millennia.”

    …and

    “Irrefutable evidence for the existence of this new, super-Einsteinian wave type is provided by the extremely close correlation between changes of the mean temperature and fluctuations of the mean rotational velocity of the Earth. (see the figure referred to in Section I.4). Einsteinian theory cannot explain this amazing correlation between two physical quantities that seem to be completely unrelated. ”

    Thanks for the chuckles, both from your post and the responses to same. ;)


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  • #

    Hey cmb,

    chuckle at this link that the good doctor provided then.

    That correlation beats anything the AGW guys have ever offered up.

    Compare it to the simple AGW graph, used ad nauseum: “look-mum-co2-and-temperature-rise-together!” That graph can be arranged by changing the scale on any two factors that coincidentally trend the same way. Dr. Loebert’s graph has rises AND falls. It has turning points, and they match.


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    Lazlo

    cmb: Your contribution displays dripping sarcasm with little evidence of intelligence.


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    Mike Davis

    Joanne Nova:
    The global historic temperature Is questionable at best. If we accept what is provided we are agreeing to a point of view that has little evidence to support it. I think Dr. Lobert has evidence supporting his theory and will probaply get better relationship using a regional non adjusted rural or shore thermometer. With shore measurements there is the issue of wind direction.
    If I want evidence of a wave theory I only have to view my pond with little wind or go to the sea shore.
    As the ocean is just a thicker atmosphere. When I see a wave in water I can imagine a wave in the atmosphere. Of course with a kite or wind sock I can observe those atmospheric waves/tides.


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    I tried to check out Dr Loebert and the LOD theory. I’m wary of a hoax (on a spoof page eh?) and it’s darn suspicious that he appears to be the only recipient ever of the “Needle of Honour” in aeronautics, but then maybe it’s a pre-net thing. (He retired in 97).
    The language is a bit over the top, (but he’s an aeronautics engineer, and speaks german). But none the less, it doesn’t hang together, with enough of the usual scientific links and references for me to want to go with it either.
    Those graphs are posted on the FAO site – the UN food and agriculture organisation, and those correlations are spectacular. So I’d like to know more.
    He’s posted the same comment as above on icecap , jennifer marohasy , climate feedback and wattsup. There’s a different version with more detail here.
    Loebert is only mentioned on two pages that I can find outside of his own comments. Here and Here endorsing a book called Solar Rain.
    Possibly there are other pages in German, but I can’t read them (any German readers out there… is he real, he offers an address…? NB ‘Lobert’ and ‘Loebert’.) And nothing turned on on a search for Seaon Theory except for 500 miss-spellings of ‘season’.
    If it’s a hoax trying to catch out sceptics there I didn’t come across a public page crowing about the trap. (Maybe no sceptics have been caught yet?) But no one has proved he doesn’t exist yet either.
    Lets just say, I’m strictly unconvinced either way. Skeptical.

    PS: Just noticed, the book he endorsed, ‘Solar Rain’ appears to be for sale, but the description of it tells me we are not dealing with anything in the standard stream of scientific reasoning….”For those who are drawn to more spiritual, quantum physics, or metaphysical understandings, you won’t be disappointed. You will find information direct from the Hopi and Mayan elders telling us what has been passed down through generations. Now is the time for purification, preparation, and contemplation.”


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    Tom G(ologist)

    After some research into this one I conclude it is either the work of a crackpot or a hoaxer who is hoping to catch people propagating his hoax in support of skepticism – I lean toward the former.

    Casimir gravity? The casimir effect has only been experimented and measured on the nano to micro scale – not the macro scale of gravity which is force over a DISTANCE.

    Saltational changes in Earth’s angular velocity? I’ve seen no data or theory other than the graph presented above. Nothing in the geologic/gephysical literature in 2003 of such an event. Angular velocity decreases continuously as a result of friction between the liquid outer core (iron and nickel) and overlying mantle, which friction also generates the dynamo effect to create Earth’s magnetic field).

    Vacuum density waves – what are those? Never came across such in literature. Well – perhaps the less said here the better, but let’s look at this from the perspective of what is going on in physics. Physicists are still trying to set up the experiment to detect gravity waves – a phenomenon we know exists based on confirmation from every other test and observation – including consistency with Einstein’s predicitons. What IS a vacuum density wave – a compression wave? Couldn’t be a shear wave. What is the magnitude of transformation when it comes from a vacuum into the relatively dense atmosphere? And on and on and on…

    These phantom waves are supposed cause the geoid to deform? The geoid is in a constant state of deformation as a result of normal old tidal forces from the moon and sun and the magnitude of movement if significant and far greater than is stated above.

    That supposed movement from vacuum gravity waves causes major earthquakes? Here I am REALLY on my own turf. No need to drag it out when one word will do – NOPE!!! This single positive statement alone identifies this as a crackpot post. I have seen far more credible supposed mechanisms of earthqwuake causation which are still crackpot ideas – this one is beyond the pale – especially with the reverse engineered, back door reconciliation of the time lag – arghhh!

    I receommend that no-one cite anything in this post in support of a skeptical position on regular old, down to Earth climate science (so-called).

    Tom


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    Mike Davis

    Tom G:
    Having read your posts and trust your judgment.
    I do have a question for you: Years ago I read about Teluric waves related to esoteric beliefs (In my 20′s I read about such things). Are these a reality describing magnetig flow between the poles or a fantasy or a little of both?


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    Tom G(ologist)

    The only thing I have ever seen related to Teluric energy is associated with the paranormal. My experience here is limited, but from my own first-hand knowledge, this is pseudo-scientific, new-age, telekinetic, parapsychological, ghost-buster stuff.

    I could be wrong, but “that’s what I heard.”

    Tom


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    MattB

    Are you guys serious!!! Loebert is a FRUITCAKE and I don;t need to read any more than the post here:) I’m with Tom – adopt that at your peril:)


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    Mike Davis

    Thanks Tom:
    Between 30 and 40 years ago I read about such things But the subject came up on a site recently.
    I was wondering!


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    Plonker

    A spoof within a spoof! Reads like a load of B****it. Someone may be trying out the old B****it Baffles Brains theory! TRUST NO ONE!


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    Dr. Gerhard Loebert

    The New is always the enemy of the Old. In the last century it was scientific consensus for 50 years that continental drift does not exist. Alfred Wegener received a hostile treatment until the end of his life. Today, he is highly honoured.

    With regard to my identity, see Google “Gerhard, Lampyridae”.


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    Plonker

    Apologies to Dr Loebert. There is a lot of B.S.out there. Question to same – why post on a page where the main topic is a Spoof? Certainly baffled me with science!


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    Tom G(ologist)

    Dr. Loebert:
    “The New is always the enemy of the Old” Simply untrue, although there have been instances of resistance to some new ideas.

    You are meeting with resistance because some of the things you posit are simply not true, so people who know that to be true must also be skeptical of the rest of your very positively asserted pronouncements.

    Also, an internet blog is not the forum to convince other scientists that you are correct. Please provide citations to the refereed journals where some of the ‘known facts’ you espouse have been confirmed. We will then evaluate your positions in the spirit of interested colleagues and with the perspective of tested hypotheses rather than as judging them as unfounded ramblings and cobblings which they now appear to be.

    Not everyone who visits science related blogs is a non-scientist, so please expect to be called to account when you lay down some things which virge ont he outlandish to a scientist. I invite you to begin by addressing some of the problems I pointed out (post 14) with you initial post by providing references to REAL publications in refereed journals and not your own e-published literature.

    We WILL accept your positons if you put up the real science.


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    Dr. Gerhard Loebert

    Just as Alfred Wegener was unable to convince the geophysicists of his time, I will not be able to convince the physicists of today that the geometrical gravitational theory of Albert Einstein needs to be replaced by the more powerful Seaon Theory (described in the last post of Google “gerhard, pakteahouse”), the only physical theory that can explain the close correlation shown in Fig. 2.2 of the FAO report (see above).


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    Tom G(ologist)

    I don’t know why not – Wegener was the exception in that he died prematurely while on assignment as a meteorologist in Greenland. Given time, which was not all that long, the data backed him up. Keep plugging away, which Wegener wasa not able to do.
    In the mean time, I would be interested to see the experimental confirmation of any one of the assertions you make – and some responses to my previoius comments rather than a general statement that the world is just against you for now but every dog will have his day.


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    More expert climate scientists commented on the New York Times 2019 article:

    Dr Billy Cunningly, editor-in-chief of the internet’s most reliable information soure Willipedia, said
    “It’s a myth that scientists were claiming the world was warming around the time of the millenium. It was all created by the media. I have conducted a thorough literature survey and have found only three scientific papers saying there was warming”.

    Dr Michelle Womann added
    “Scientists now know that the coldness of the Earth is unprecedented in its 5 billion year history. I have proved this by digging holes in the ground and sticking my head in them, and inventing new statistical techniques. Cooling of the climate system is unequivocal, and it is 99% caused by the frostiness of right-wing governments around the world. The only solution to the problem is to replace all these with left-wing
    governments immediately”. She denied that the research was politically motivated.


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    Mike Davis

    PaulM:
    We could just replace them with “HOT WINGS”. I keep hearing about “Right” and “Left ” Wing Goverments. The only thing I found that changed the taste of chicken wings was how you prepared them not which side of the chicken they came from. I have not tried Goverment wings yet how does one go about preparing them.;-)


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    MattB

    I agree wioth Tom in 24 again… I cannot imagine for a second that if the AGW hypothesis is ill-founded that it will be able to resist the science that shows it to be so, and I’ll look back and think I was hoodwinked and have a laugh. I have faith in science generally, and I generally think politics is quick to get off a dead horse.

    I prefer to view science history as a celebration of the acceptance and pursuit of radical frontiers, rather than the stodgy oppression of new by establishment. Sure at the time it may have seemed that way to the proponents of the new, but really all it does is its best to ensure that the new really has to prove its stuff to oust the old.


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    Anne-Kit Littler

    Hi Joanne, I speak some German and googled Dr Lobert in that language. He looks bonafide and you can find him on the website of the German Society for Air and Space Travel (Deutsche Gesellschaft fur Luft- und Raumfahrt) Go to http://www.dglr.de, then click on “Ehrungen” which means “honours”. There you will find him listed as a “recipient of the Needle of Honour of German Aeronautics” (Trager der Ehrennadel der deutschen Luftfahrt) in 2000, in his capacity of Team Leader of the 2000 F104 G-CCV Program.

    That is of course no guarantee that the person posting here is Dr Lobert or someone using his name and title …..


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    cmb

    Joanne Nova:
    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
    “Hey cmb,

    chuckle at this link that the good doctor provided then.

    That correlation beats anything the AGW guys have ever offered up.

    Compare it to the simple AGW graph, used ad nauseum: “look-mum-co2-and-temperature-rise-together!” That graph can be arranged by changing the scale on any two factors that coincidentally trend the same way. Dr. Loebert’s graph has rises AND falls. It has turning points, and they match.”

    – Sorry, Joanne, no galactic vacuum density waves in evidence at that link. =)


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    Robert Godwin

    You know what constantly amazes me about this topic?

    The AMS can not accurately predict what the weather will be like in my city next week, yet the world is ready to accept that the AMS weather models can accurately predict what the weather will be like in year 2100.

    If the world was not spending billions on this, it would be simply hysterical to watch.


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    Interglacial John

    sadly, this will probably not be far from the truth. just as it changed from global cooling to global warming to climate change, the alarmists keep moving the goal posts and keep rewriting history. i cannot wait!


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    Jimmy Haigh

    Yup. We’ve got them on the run…


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    Oxygen crisis? Fortunately we can avoid it – and sequester carbon at the same time.

    Just take quartz sand (SiO2) and CO2, and make Silicon Carbide (SiC):

    SiO2 + CO2 -> SiC + 2O2

    Such a deal! I have no idea of what the energy budget is for that. I barely remember my Electrochemical slide device that documented all that stuff. Horsetail plants already take up silica, just a little genetic engineering and V2 could really live up its other common name, Scouring Rush”

    http://stokestropicals.com/horsetail-fern-39.htm


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    Sam Congdon is the offshore promoter that has scammed people in the past and provided client records to the IRS and U.S. Senate Finance Committee. His companies, Rockford Global Solutions and Equity Development Group are still operating so do not get involved with these companies unless you want trouble with legal authorities or to do jail time.


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