First the satire:

By the Babylon Bee.

“They came into my home to make your favorite president look like a criminal. Such losers, such losers. But everyone still loves me so it’s ok. They didn’t even find anything! I’m gonna be the President again!”

Sources close to Trump say his first act as President will be to fire his own appointed FBI Director Christopher Wray and replace him with a used dust mop from the Capitol janitor’s closet before razing the Hoover building and banishing all FBI agents to Gitmo.

“I’m gonna fire everyone, literally everyone in government,” said Trump. Federal Reserve? Gone! EPA? Gone! CIA? Gone! Department of Education? ATF? HHS? Gone, gone, gone!”

The news media responded to Trump’s statement by calling him a “threat to democracy worse than Hitler” while tearing their clothes and heaping dust upon the crowns of their heads.

Then the news:

Half the country already knows the FBI Raid was not about “upholding the law” and 4 out of 5 Republicans say they are more likely to vote. The Democrats, and Team FBI may have miscalculated. They are desperate, which is perhaps the […]