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Climate change is coming for your kids — Who knew children are more likely to die in floods, droughts, heatwaves?

Hear Ye!

To all the world’s recalcitrant, absent, and neglectful parents, paediatricians have arrived to tell you to give your kids a drink during a heatwave, pack food to last through droughts, and that you really need global unaccountable committees to look after your kids. Presumably their junkets meetings will be paid for by you.

Kids are “underprioritized”? (So what do they think 2 billion parents are doing?)

Children are highly vulnerable to health risks of a changing climate

“…researchers at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and Columbia University Irving Medical Center set out some specific challenges associated with the impacts of climate change on the world’s 2.3 billion children and suggest ways to address their under-prioritized needs.

Researchers discovered children have “anatomic, cognitive, immunologic, and psychologic differences” which put them at more risk than adults. OK. They’ve noticed kids are small and inexperienced. Ambitiously, they apply this to 2.3 billion children, pretty much all of them here on Earth. That’s your kids, mine, “under prioritized”. Hmm.

The finding that children are vulnerable will shock all the parents who assumed their kids would survive the next flood, malaria, and dengue outbreak without any help. What will they discover next?

Dear University Academics,  when you have kids you’ll discover that nothing reorganizes an adult’s priorities better than offspring. We all (even you) evolved from 50,000 generations of adults who prioritized their kids though wild climate change like you can’t even imagine. And they survived ice ages, droughts and super volcanoes and did it without iphones.

Yeah. Looks like we need another arm to the UN, WHO, and local Departments of Health.

Why not call it the UN Ministry of Nannies?

So we thought Malaria was bad, now there is Climate-Change-Related-Malaria and it needs its own team, specialist doctors, funding, and naturally, a different prevention and treatment approach. Because when Malaria is caused by coal plants it’s a totally different disease right?

To begin to address the specific needs of children confronted with climate-change related health disasters, Thomson and colleagues are proposing the following:

1. Establish an international consortium of experts to develop adoptable medical and behavioral protocols and to set research agendas to address the unmet child specific needs that arise from climate-related natural disasters.

There is a whole new world of disaster out there. Now we have Climate-Related-Droughts, Climate-Related-Heatwaves, and Climate-Related-Volcanoes. Do we need Climate-Related Ambulances? After-all, rescuing kids from floods is one thing, but rescuing them from Climate-Change-Floods is … different. (Especially if you have to use solar powered boats).

Where does it end?

2. Develop best practice guidelines for climate-change related event planning that incorporates strategies for addressing the health-related needs of children.
3. Fund mechanisms designed to help the most vulnerable nations prepare for and respond to climate related disasters must consider funding the development of responses that specifically address the unmet needs of children’s health.

Translated: This means more Jobs for friends, Rules for you and Money for us.

Dear taxpayers, the UN is coming for your kids. Don’t give them (or academics like this) any more money.

The full “discovery” at ScienceDaily.

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