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Speedy – better than the real thing

Speedy posted this skit in the comments thread here at #85. From that sequestered position, it’s taken two weeks but it’s going viral and Oops!,  the satire of Clarke and Dawe is being credited to Clarke and Dawe. I’ve had 6 emails in the last couple of days. Let’s give Speedy some credit!

Australian politics is like buying a  second hand car — Jo


John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit

(The Customer)

[Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock. He is approached by JOHN]

John: Morning! Looking for a new car?

Bryan: Nope. Prime Minister, actually.

John: You’re the third one this morning. Anything in mind?

Bryan: You know……. nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.

John: You mean like a Howard?

Bryan: Yeah….a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.

John: So…. you used to have one?

Bryan: Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model, don’t know why I got rid of him –biggest mistake I’ve ever made?

John: What happened?

Bryan: Traded him in for a Kevin 07.

John: Big mistake?

Bryan: Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.

John: How was the Kevin 07?

Bryan: Came with a $900 factory rebate, that was good.

John: Anything else?

Bryan: Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.

John: Didn’t stick around for long did it?

Bryan: Nah, had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.

John: What was the problem?

Bryan: Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.

John: Whatcha got now?

Bryan: It’s a Gillard-Brown.

John: The hybrid?

Bryan: Yeah. The Eco-drive system, not a good idea. An engine that can’t deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse?

John: Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason, that’s the one?

Bryan: The Fustercluck model.

John: The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery, but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

Bryan: Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.

John: So that’s why you’re here?

Bryan: That’s right. I’m stuck with a government that’s wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?

John: Join the queue brother.

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