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Merry Christmas with Carols For Coal :-)

Posted By Jo Nova On December 25, 2018 @ 4:55 pm In Global Warming | Comments Disabled

Christmas runs on coal.

Image by pixel2013

Thanks to readers who responded to the request to respond to the  Carols against Coal. After the gripping thrill of “We Wish You a Steady Climate“, get ready for a treat.  Here’s draft one of Christmas Carols to Warm the World. Forgive the odd blasphemy, there are some absolute gems lines here. With a little more fine tuning I see lots of potential — a book for next Christmas? Thank you to the star contributors, and please keep them coming!

Merry Christmas to everyone. — Jo

Tides of Mudgee:  O Come All Ye Warmists

Oh come all ye warmists
You think you’re so triumphant
Oh come on, admit it now, you’re wrong, wrong, wrong
Climate is changing,
But we are not the cause of it.
We cannot change the CO2,
It doesn’t drive the temperature,
The biggest lie in history
Christ I’m bored.

 

Reed Coray — Jingle Coal

Burning all that coal
Warms our very soul
o’er the lumps we roll
Staying warm’s our goal.

Watching Gaia squirm
Maybe even burn
Looking for a fight
Makes our spirits bright.

Doing what we should
Even all we could
Doing plants much good
Better coal than wood

Laughing at our peers
Holding back our tears
Can’t believe our ears
Hearing phony fears.

Busy at the pole,
Elfs are mining coal
Santa’s on a roll
Leaving lumps of coal.

PeterC

Mining Coal, Mining Coal
Mining Coal all day
Oh what fun it is to load
a hopper all the way eh.

Mark M

Wind turbine, wind turbines, turbines all the way,

Oh what stupidity it is to head, back to pre-industrial days, hey!

tom0mason:  Good King Wenceslas

Old King Coal was last dug out, on the Feast of Stephen.
Wind and solar all about, rigged prices don’t breakeven.
Brightly shone the the forest that night, the fire it was cruel,
Now the poor folk roundabout hadn’t any fuel.

 

Robber:  The Twelfth day of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Twelve greenies prattling
Eleven warmists nagging
Ten pollies raving
Nine coal mines working
Eight windmills idling
Seven panels sunning
Six rent takers reaping
Five RETs
Four subsidies
Three promises broken
Two climate cultists
And Australia up a gum tree.

 

 

..

Sonny: All I want for Christmas

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There’s just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
and all that capitalist greed.
I just want to stop climate change
Though my friends think I’m deranged
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is to impose my world-view.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents
And would never cut down a tree
I don’t buy china made stockings
And would never light my fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
His plastic toys are a disgrace.
I just want to fight global warming
i don’t care if i am conforming
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is to impose my world-view.

I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
I’m just gonna keep on waiting
For the big coal overthrow
I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I would rather stay awake
and study Mann’s hockey stick.
I just want to get climate right
Thats why i won’t turn on the light
What more can i do?
Baby all I want for Christmas is
to impose my world-view.

No lights are shining
There is darkness everywhere
And the sound of children’s
Laughter vanished into thin air.
Nobody is singing
But i hear those alarm bells ringing
Santa won’t you help me with my scruple
And make Christmas Carbon Neutral.

Oh I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just want to see this world
Become like Orwell’s 1984
I just want warming to slow
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.
Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.
Baby all I want for Christmas is to impose my world-view.

 

 

 

 

 

Latus Dextro  — The First Noel

The First Noel
(mod. English carol, 17th century)
—————————————————————
The first Noel Mike Mann did say
Was a great warming now well underway
In committees they lay,
In politics they played,
Laying out their plans
On a hot summers day.
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
They hooked up and saw a scam
Shining was the West all ’round them now,
And to the earth they gave great cash,
And so it continued both day and night.
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
And by the cash from that great wealth
Wise men flew from countries afar,
To seek more cash was their intent
And to follow the wealth
Wherever it went.
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
This faith grew forth to all the World
Over everything it took its cue,
And there it did both stop and stay
Over every place where power lay.
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
Then did they know the great cooling seas
That their models were nix just a vacant big tease:
as the meme failed the dream did too,
And they found themselves deep in the loo:
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
Then came the greater cold, the grand solar change,
that created a big chill over the world:
no food, no crops, no cash, no tax,
Gone is the greed of the carbon creed.
No-coal No-coal No-coal No-coal!
Green is the face of Gaial!
—————————————————————
Then let us all with one accord
Sing praise to all the earthly joules,
That hath made heaven
out of naught on earth,
And with warmth mankind has brought great cheer.
Noel Noel Noel Noel!
Born is the King of Israel!

 

 Alice Thermopolis: On the first day of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
Catholic Online sent to me
More climate fare from the Holy Chair,
And a post-truth partridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of eco-worrying,
Satan sent to me
A Polar Vortex to perplex,
And a Trump-et in a populist tree.

On the third day of extreme-weather,
An angel sent to me
A message from Jehovah, another super-Nova,
And a Paltridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of weird-weather,
Project Stardust sent to me
Samples from my gutter that made me splutter
But no alarmist from the IPCC.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The American Geophysical Union sent to me
Feelings of anger, panic and fear;
Free of charge, without a fee.

On the seventh day of extreme weather,
Cool La Nina sent to me
News that El Niño’s fading fast.
The scare just couldn’t last, said she.

On the eighth day of eco-worrying,
Scott and Shackleton sent a note to me:
Little change in sea ice in a century, that’s nice;
And fifty penguins in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Goldilocks weather,
Someone on the Hill sent a card to me;
Wow. Energy security’s the buzz-word now,
And one hundred politicians in a baobab tree.

On the tenth day of unsustainable power,
The Energy Market Operator sent a report to me:
Relax, it said, our generational mix is fine;
And one thousand windmills in a pro bono publico tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Two RMIT fellows sent a recipe to me:
Eat the roo, not the moo,
And ten thousand turkeys in a peer tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
A prophecy came to me:
Curses. The alarmist circus is,
Perhaps, running out of time. We’ll see.

Sound the TRUMP-ET!

Carols singers.

A poem from Ruairi

Our carols will withstand attack,
From warmists who try to hijack,
These great Christmas tunes,
And from climate-change loons,
Who use them to hate coal and slack.

 

Eric Huxter — Imagine

Imagine there’s no fossil fuels
It’s easy if you try
Chill earth beneath us
O’er us cold blue sky
Imagine all the people
dying in their droves…

Imagine there’s no fossil fuels
It isn’t hard to do
Naught to aid survival
the CAGW religion too
Imagine all the people
dying in their droves…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the population will be just one

Imagine fewer humans
I wonder if you can
All is fear and hunger
A change caused by man
Imagine all the people
dying in their droves…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the population will be just one

 

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