Turnbull awarded Order of the Bankers Prize for 2009
SOURCE: SATIRICAL PRESS. Don’t believe a word.
Malcolm Turnbull, leader of The Australian Opposition has been announced as the outstanding winner of the coveted Order of the Banker.
Victor Mosely, the chairman of the Bankers Awards committee, announced the win this evening, in anticipation of the passing of the Australian Emissions Trading Scheme. “This man has done more than anyone to improve future banking profits world wide”. When pointed out that it was merely an Australian scheme, Mosely replied, that “in the fraught lead up to Copenhagen he has done what no one else could, he’s given us hope.”
Carbon trading in 2008 was a $126 billion market. The CFTC in the United States was forecasting a trillion dollar market by 2012. More than ever, banks need help with their balance sheets, and nothing else will expand the power of financial houses as fast as carbon trading will.
His work in defying science, polls, and any semblance of democracy is really rising above and beyond the call.
While Kevin Rudd was an obvious choice for the award this year, Mosely declared that Turnbull had pulled the much needed legislation from certain death despite all odds. “What Turnbull did was extraordinary. Opinion polls are falling worldwide, a deal at Copenhagen is extremely unlikely, Australian emissions will make no measureable impact on the world or the weather, then this week, climate science was exposed as being based on fraudulent work. All this AND his own party are revolting against him. His work in defying science, polls, and any semblance of democracy is really rising above and beyond the call. Banksters salute him everywhere from the bottom of their hearts.
Tributes rolled in for Turnbull from representatives of JP Morgan, BNP Paribas, ABN Amro, Barclays, Deutsche Bank and HSBC.
“With WarmerGate news spreading fast and exposing a criminal element at the heart of climate science, it really was an admirable show of brazen audacity to ignore the majority of the elected representatives in his party, and stick to a two year old “mandate” he wasn’t given, in an election he didn’t win, and from a time when the public thought that scientists didn’t know the answer to their experiments before they did them.”
Never before has the Prize been awarded to someone who is a politician. (Although Turnbull was once head of Goldman Sachs Australia, a former banker does not normally qualify).
This illustrious win earns Turnbull the lifelong title “Sir” when being addressed by bank shareholders and workers.
*With apologies to Victor Mosely, whoever he is. As of tonight, Australia looks set to adopt an emissions trading scheme thanks to Malcolm Turnbull. After a marathon 7 hour meeting, Turnbull announced he had the Party room support even though 46 people spoke against him and 33 spoke in favour. (All said in the true spirit of a “denier” of the evidence). Our best hope lies in a leadership spill. The only hope for the Liberal Party is to remove the dictocrat. It may happen. It couldn’t be too soon.
The short killer summary: The Skeptics Handbook. The most deadly point: The Missing Hot Spot.
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Posted on
November 25th, 2009 under
Global Warming • Tags: Australian Politics, Bankers, Satire & Parody.
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November 25th, 2009 at 5:33 am
Joanne,
Sorry, I know this isn’t part of your post but this just came out from George Monbiot!
http://www.globalwarminghoax.com/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?1275.last
This email has IMPLECATIONS! Wow!
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November 25th, 2009 at 6:23 am
How low can they go?
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November 25th, 2009 at 6:37 am
Joanne,
Here’s the latest with Dr. Muriel Newman of the New Zealand Center for Political Research, sending a Letter to their Prime Minister? Not sure on that one! If you could help me on that, I would appreciate it very much! The “brakes” are being applied!!!
http://www.globalwarminghoax.com/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?1276.last
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November 25th, 2009 at 6:41 am
twawki: Post 2,
That’s hard to say because of the Internet! I’ve heard there is more files out there. 61MB isn’t all of it from what I’ve heard. Need to confirm this! I’ve also need to go thru the files in depth, takes time! I did Dr. Grays early this morning and it’s posted at GWH.com
Keep reading, seaching and reading more, twawki…The ride is just starting!!!
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November 25th, 2009 at 6:44 am
[...] and a loss of democratic freedoms while he is making the bankers very rich. As Joanne Nova says “His work in defying science, polls, and any semblance of democracy is really rising above and… As Andrew Bolt says he could be gone by [...]
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November 25th, 2009 at 7:31 am
The lending for “green” ventures is in trouble. Having audited banks when young, I saw cycles from time to time. As recent as 15 years ago, banks required soil studies to assure their commercial loans were not on haz waste sites. Now with the cratering of the carbon markets and the “scienceA” subsidies my dry up and banks risk having a company closed if the gubment won’t subsidize their produict.
Of course most “green” start ups do not have 5 years audited financial statements and don’t meet ordinary risk requirements. What would a bank do with a repossessed windmill?
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November 25th, 2009 at 7:46 am
Well, the name I have for Malcolm rhymes with Banker…
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November 25th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Back in the eighties I remember a marketer lamenting that, though plain water was the best possible sports drink, the industry could find no way to make money from it. Twenty plus years on, it’s a business worth gazillions.
Make money out of thin air? Once the expression “thin air” would have been figurative. Now it’s literal. And it’s happening.
You make a good point, Joanne. Maybe Turnbull isn’t as obtuse as he seems. Maybe he’s a really smart spiv, working for the good of Spivdom.
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November 25th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Joanne
there may be a typo in first word line 2 of the heading should B be replaced by W ?
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November 25th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I am sure that when Turnbull gets rolled by the party his former colleagues in Goldman Sucks will welcome him back with open arms.
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November 25th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
10 Downing Street is running an online petition to suspend funding for the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia from preparation of any Government Climate Statistics until the various allegations have been fully investigated by an independent body.
I signed it, ok, I’m a British ex-pat (so I left there when I was 5…)Anyone else out there with a British passport or citizenship could do the same.
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November 25th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
I believe the correct collective noun for ‘Bankers’ is ‘wunch’, as in ‘A wunch of bankers’.
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November 25th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
No point losing our sense of humour.
This is very good
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November 25th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Global warming has now gone beyond a debate about the science. That debate has been won. The warmists lost. The only story left now is following the money trail. Who is involved with Goldman Sachs and their ex-employees who are now with Gore’s companies. People aren’t interested in the science. They will be interested when they find out that the smart money men are ripping them off. While watching out for defamation laws, I think thats the angle to follow. The Australian parliament has a pecuniary interests register. Can someone get a copy and scan through it.
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November 25th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Fiano
You are not alone, I am also an expat who signed the petition.
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November 25th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I’ve put together Climategate: The best of YouTube…so far. Some good stuff, even a bit of humor.
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November 25th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
oops sorry Fiona
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November 25th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Fiona, allen mcmahon : “10 Downing Street is running an online petition” Link Please. I suffer from busy page syndrome.
picarl : for pecuniary interests try Open Australia and drop them a donation while you are there. They do a great job.
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November 25th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Keith
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/UEACRU/
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November 25th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
OMGIMWTWT! – 7 deg C now, and Prof England on the news tonight said it’s all verified by leading IPCC scientists and the peer reviewed literature.
He’s obviously been on holidays for the last week and has just returned in time to pack his bongos for Copenhagen. Who knows, on his overseas holiday he might even regain his sense of irony.
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November 25th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Jo, you got me big time, then….. the frothing heights of apoplectic psychoasis were reached in nano seconds before seeing the `source satircal… which didn`t register untill 3rd reading….lmao…..now!
thanks fiona, the chance to lay the Doc Martins into Brown &co whilst they lie mortaly wounded from 12000 miles away is just too good to pass up. considered an early Xmas pressie!
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